{"title":"Retired \u0026 Unbothered","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetirement means finally having the time—and absolutely no obligation to explain how you use it. Discover funny retirement shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, and gifts for retirees enjoying life, ignoring schedules, and doing things their own way.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ceramic-mug-funny-coffee-mug-quote-mug-gift-for-coffee-lover-sarcastic-mug-office-mug-birthday-gift","title":"“I’ve Got the Time, Just Not the Patience” Ceramic Mug|Funny Retiree Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis ceramic mug features a funny quote 'I’ve got the time I just don’t have the patience' that adds a fun and sassy vibe to your morning coffee routine. It's perfect for those who appreciate a good sense of humor and enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea to start their day. This mug is relevant to holidays, such as Christmas, birthdays, or just because gifts for your friends and family. Product features - Glossy ceramic finish - Crisp design that is microwave and dishwater safe. Available  11oz .  Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":52666563133572,"sku":"18865789630097102254","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/files\/13915459589627902889_2048.jpg?v=1787159455"},{"product_id":"retired-i-have-time-to-question-everything-t-shirt-funny-retirement-gift","title":"Retired: I Have Time to Question Everything T-Shirt | Funny Retirement Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSoft, wearable humor for days that finally belong to you. This lightweight cotton tee carries a simple, warm-brown print that reads “RETIRED — I Have Time To Question Everything,” with a subtle graphic that playfully pits AI against “me.” It folds easily into quiet mornings on the porch, coffee-fueled afternoons with the grandkids, or slow, sunlit errands. The comfortable crew neck and classic cut let the message sit naturally — not loud, but proudly human. Wear it while you swap stories, take long walks, or nudge a friend into a thoughtful laugh; it’s a gentle conversation starter that feels lived-in from the first wear. Product features - 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g\/m²) for a soft, breathable feel - Tubular knit (no side seams) for cleaner lines and reduced fabric waste - Ribbed, elastic collar with shoulder tape to retain shape and prevent stretching - DTG\/DTF printed graphics — durable sleeve\/neck label prints with clear detail - OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified; meets safety and chemical compliance Care instructions - Do not dryclean - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52744898936964,"sku":"30732802968062719998","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52744898969732,"sku":"26676174112226490589","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52744899002500,"sku":"34205118966746456235","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52744899035268,"sku":"24361397746259675130","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":52744899068036,"sku":"21467855990661696653","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52744899100804,"sku":"24449261605840578241","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52744899133572,"sku":"28444240760336117339","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52744899166340,"sku":"74959874582013801197","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52744899199108,"sku":"21835166860651802917","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52744899231876,"sku":"27117377512243442513","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52744899264644,"sku":"87631201334167366439","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52744899297412,"sku":"19154480868267942031","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52744899330180,"sku":"78769648617481736534","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52744899362948,"sku":"25647616032451189269","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52744899395716,"sku":"46736031112194904707","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52744899428484,"sku":"21321865430937528674","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52744899461252,"sku":"26866268766937129369","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52744899494020,"sku":"24417516867771681023","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52744899526788,"sku":"18728602129883809535","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52744899559556,"sku":"24651710423793095674","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/files\/20260831202134-1f1a5798-fe5e-6740-bfeb-c656d2fdcfcf.png?v=1788208981"},{"product_id":"ai-humor-tote-bag-retired-i-have-time-to-question-everything-gifts-for-retirement-gifts-for-grandparents","title":"I Have Time to Question Everything Tote Bag | Funny Retirement AI Humor Gift","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15\" x 16\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHandle length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCarry your curiosity everywhere with this sturdy cotton canvas tote. The natural heavy-weight fabric and flat corners give it a clean, structured silhouette that holds books, groceries, or a laptop with ease. On the front, thoughtful text and simple graphics questions—'What Came First' and Retired 'I Have Time To Question Everything'—making this bag a quiet conversation starter for cafés, commutes, and campus strolls. Long self-fabric handles sit comfortably on the shoulder and reinforced stitching keeps daily use reliable. Choose natural for a warm, organic look or black for a bolder, modern vibe. This tote feels right when you want to carry ideas as well as essentials. Check out our matching shirt ! Product features - 100% heavy-weight cotton canvas (12 oz) for durability - Flat-corner construction for a structured, slim profile - Self-fabric shoulder handles with reinforced stitching - Sewn-in label; blank sourced from India - Available in natural and black colorways Care instructions - Do not iron directly over the printed area - print may stick to the iron. - Spot clean - Do not bleach - Line dry\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Natural \/ 15\" x 16\"","offer_id":52750324531332,"sku":"24963057981261734147","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 15\" x 16\"","offer_id":52750324564100,"sku":"22386626729098556950","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/files\/20260901185433-1f1a6369-24e1-6ca6-9bb7-4efbc1978321.png?v=1788289150"},{"product_id":"ive-got-the-time-just-dont-have-the-patience-black-ceramic-mug","title":"I’ve Got the Time, Just Don’t Have the Patience | Black Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e11oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e15oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eDiameter (with handle), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e5.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e A glossy black ceramic mug that carries a quiet, confident vibe. The deep black surface makes the pale, minimalist lettering stand out — a subtle statement during morning coffee or a slow afternoon. Warm to the touch, the C-shaped handle feels familiar and balanced in the hand. It holds enough ritual for a single strong pour (11oz) or the days that need a little more (15oz). Durable, microwave- and dishwasher-safe, and printed with vibrant, long-lasting colors that resist fading. This mug blends practicality with low-key attitude — a daily companion for someone who appreciates clean design and steady rituals. Product features - 100% glossy ceramic in deep black finish - Available in 11oz and 15oz sizes - Microwave- and dishwasher-safe for everyday use - Vibrant, long-lasting printed colors; lead- and BPA-free - Comfortable C-shaped handle; meets lead and cadmium safety requirements Care instructions - Clean in dishwasher (put the product on top rack), or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":52750348320900,"sku":"30857094951944427054","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":52750348353668,"sku":"27154504817650801154","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/files\/20260901190451-1f1a6380-2634-6d9e-85d2-36528ad647c7.png?v=1788289823"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/collections\/20260831200643-1f1a5777-c727-6d38-a5ab-92a8d7f3ab32.png?v=1788557115","url":"https:\/\/sarcasticslothstudio.com\/collections\/retired-unbothered.oembed","provider":"Sarcastic Sloth Studio","version":"1.0","type":"link"}