{"product_id":"girl-you-are-basically-parked-on-fort-knox-t-shirt-funny-sarcastic-sloth-tee","title":"Parked on Fort Knox T-Shirt |Funny Sarcastic sloth Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e35.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length (from center back), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e23.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis tee speaks with a wink and a stretch-break laugh. A sloth lounges across the front, deadpan caption: “Girl your basically parked on Fort Knox in Yoga pants.” It’s the kind of shirt that halts the room mid-stretch — playful, self-aware, and a little bit cheeky. Wear it to morning classes, lazy Sunday brunches, or when you want to send a sly compliment without saying a word. Lightweight but sturdy, it drapes easily over the body and keeps its shape, so the joke lands every time. It’s the wardrobe equivalent of a knowing grin — relaxed, confident, and fun to live in. Product features - Durable 100% cotton fabric with smooth surface for crisp prints - Tubular knit (no side seams) for cleaner fit and less waste - Ribbed, seam-free collar and shoulder tape to retain shape - Dual printing: DTF for sleeve\/inner label details and DTG for main design - Classic relaxed fit with tear-away label for comfort Care instructions - Non-chlorine: bleach as needed - Do not iron - Do not dryclean - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) - Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Light Blue","offer_id":52760963383428,"sku":"33587672897195171576","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760963416196,"sku":"24094606860802663897","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Natural","offer_id":52760963448964,"sku":"80092256763273881586","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760963481732,"sku":"69892554924022800105","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52760963514500,"sku":"29376063239141117984","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Blue","offer_id":52760963547268,"sku":"33387519610067464959","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760963580036,"sku":"18036690254245152311","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Natural","offer_id":52760963612804,"sku":"38083749774490506364","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760963645572,"sku":"31012708080920597509","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52760963678340,"sku":"92949829950541038862","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Blue","offer_id":52760963711108,"sku":"33649872422793579107","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760963743876,"sku":"72858558035797517448","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Natural","offer_id":52760963776644,"sku":"20964678907505124520","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760963809412,"sku":"75766640580571613887","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52760963842180,"sku":"36588572305468628986","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":52760963874948,"sku":"11477692924813558298","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760963907716,"sku":"18177920804622940011","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Natural","offer_id":52760963940484,"sku":"18530942172636575755","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760963973252,"sku":"55803079599432943339","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52760964006020,"sku":"27825885646190340786","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":52760964038788,"sku":"10917464692986626773","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760964071556,"sku":"13352096574492429169","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760964104324,"sku":"14057276313457728270","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52760964137092,"sku":"11364167535668294936","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":52760964169860,"sku":"43391651105847609776","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760964202628,"sku":"27911578764602439522","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52760964235396,"sku":"46561322940053342892","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760964268164,"sku":"73987270724862277583","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":52760964300932,"sku":"26822941392989517820","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52760964333700,"sku":"28683552191579447548","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":52760964366468,"sku":"25443600697439719373","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1024\/0445\/6580\/files\/20260903171736-1f1a7bb5-bd2f-6d3c-aac3-1edbed7a5334.png?v=1788456377","url":"https:\/\/sarcasticslothstudio.com\/products\/girl-you-are-basically-parked-on-fort-knox-t-shirt-funny-sarcastic-sloth-tee","provider":"Sarcastic Sloth Studio","version":"1.0","type":"link"}